I have been in a drier season personally in my walk with God the last year or so. Since being back, and not having the constant distraction of serving, and having responsibilities during church, or other places, I have had time to really reflect and think about what is happening inside of me. What is God doing? During one church service here in Colorado Springs, I was hearing the lies we can so easily believe, “Your a poser”, “do you actually believe this?” “You don’t look like you do..” etc…
Then I was reminded of something I heard a pastor say, about how one of the the beautiful things about the body of Christ, is that when your faith is overflowing people can lean on you for their faith feels weak, and when yours feels weak you can lean on the body of Christ to embolden your faith. As I was reminded of this reminder I suddenly felt so grateful for the body of Christ, and the beauty and power of being in it. The church is a beautiful thing. I thought of when people feel like they lose their faith, and run from the church, when what is needed is this truth, and to run towards it. Following that service, each time in church I was so thankful for the body of Christ, the church, the people of God.
As we visited Durango, and our home church, I was overwhelmed by the love of God, and the way He displays this love through His people. The conversations, the services, the love was so powerful. That church knows how to love well, and we are so incredibly blessed by the over and over again.
Then as we entered Holy Week, we decided to attended all the Holy Week services at a church here in Colorado Springs. As we attended we were tired from traveling, we all had colds and it felt almost silly. But something in us felt like we needed to make this a priority for our family. It reaped huge dividends. This was the first time in a long time I stopped to think about what followers of Jesus must of been feeling and thinking during that week. As we moved through Maundy Thursday, that feels like a “normal” service, with feet washing into darkness, Good Friday, which almost felt like a funeral, and Easter Vigil, where we were watching and waiting for the light. Attending these services made my heart so soft and expectant for the light. As we anticipated Easter morning, my heart was yearning for the light… I was a little sad when we arrived at church the lights were still off, the candles still lit from vigil, and it seemed as though the light had not come yet.
Then, service started, we had our things for the great noise, lights came on, and tears rolled down my cheeks. Easter had come, the light had come because He was risen, indeed. He walked out of that grave, and is alive.
The dryness the funk I had been in for a few months, broke as the light broke through. I could feel it in my heart, I am not sure what it was all about, but I knew I needed to stay consistent, and keep watching. It felt almost like as the darkness, and waiting of lent and Holy Week came to an end with Easter, so did this dry season, this somewhat dark night of the soul I had been walking through. I knew it was coming, the light always comes when we keep chasing Jesus. He never leaves us. He has come through before and and He has never failed us, abandoned us, or left us behind. I cried on and off through our Easter morning, so grateful for the light, so grateful He is alive. And often thinking of the relief, fear and confusion the followers of Jesus must have had when the light finally broke through and the saw that Jesus was indeed alive. He is Risen!