When a Household Comes Apart

When a household comes apart it is usually because of a sad tragedy in a family. A divorce, a death, or some other major trauma, but sometimes it is because of a dream, and it can be oh so good.

As a preteen I experienced a household coming apart and then two new ones being rebuilt. My parents divorced, and then suddenly there wasn't a home, not a permanent one anyway. Somethings at one house made it feel like home and some things at the other made that one feel like home. After almost 13 years of one household, one home, one bedroom and one family we had two. It was sad, it was tragic, any family coming apart is. God did so many good things through it though. He changed so many dynamics in our lives, and used what was meant to be only evil, for good. I learned how to trust Him more, how to chase Him more, to trust and rely on Him, and that my security did not just come from my family, but from my Creator.

Now as an adult, Chris and I have spent the last 8 years building a household and a family. We have worked to have the things that we needed to create a warm inviting household full of love, to share with others and to embrace others in. We have added to our family pets, and eventually our girls. We have created a place for people to land when they needed a place to land, and a place for others to come together and discuss the great love of our heavenly Father. Now, our household is coming a part. Our family is intact and stronger than ever, but our home, our house, our stuff, and our connection to these things is going through refining. A daily conversation in our home goes something like this:

"Do we need to keep this?"
"Yes."
"Is it coming to Cambodia?"
"Maybe."
"Do we need it there?"
"I don't know."

Then followed by a whole conversation about that item, if it will be kept and taken to Cambodia, stored in my dad and stepmom's basement, or sold when we leave Durango. Imagine everything you have worked to build your home, going under such scrutiny. Then it hits you how all these things are just things. They don't count for eternity, they shouldn't carry so much weight, but for some reason they do. It is a deep soul cleansing type process to weed through the treasures you have acquired, and determining their value. Are they valuable enough to store? Are they valuable enough to take up precious suitcase space when we finally make that big move in a year? It's freeing but it can be sobering, and sad. You begin to see what you have established and created, where you feel most secure slowly diminishing.

Then all that is left, all that will be left when we are through with this process is what matters most, our trust in Jesus, our family, and chasing a dream God planted in our hearts long ago. How beautiful is that?

21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Matt 19: 21

39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:39

When your household comes apart to follow a dream God has planted in your heart, at times you feel like you are losing your life. Losing your security, your home, your peace, and all that God has even given you. To take a step of faith, that is unknown, scary and you don't know what to expect. In so many ways we are losing our life, we are losing what we have for the sake of the cross, for the sake of sharing Jesus with others. How refreshing that is! How wonderful to seek Him, and trust Him at this new level. How encouraging it is to feel all these emotions, as we walk through seeking Him in this new facet. How wonderful to know that our Redeemer, our Savior is so good and trustworthy enough to allow our household to come apart and for us to allow Him to rebuild it, as He rebuilds our lives in Cambodia. 

Hello 2016.

It is here, 2016 the year of branching out, preparing, and changing. For our family this is the year that we will prepare to take our biggest steps of faith ever and change the way we live, and see the world. God has huge things in store for us and we know it. How exciting!

But first, 2015. 2015 started out so simple for us. Our little family of 3, thinking about a far reaching dream to join Engineering Ministries International overseas in SE Asia, and simply living our life here in Durango. Waiting and trusting God to show us each step that was next. As we took these steps we enjoyed the fruits of trusting God. The year began with Chris's best friend getting married, then his trip to Uganda with eMi, and then the climax of 2015. The greatest thing to have happened in 2015 was on my birthday, April 28th at 1:09pm, little Layla Faith Hardrick was born. She was born in to a room full of joy at her final arrival and we were so happy to have her join our family. :) After she was born we interviewed with eMi in June, and did family trips during the summer. Then came eMi orientation at the end of the summer. Then fall, my first fall since I was 4 years old of not going back to school as a student or a teacher. Enjoying our beautiful, fun, joyful girls! Later came the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's and lots of snow that lead us into 2016. What a fabulous year!! :)

Now here we are in 2016, and we can see some of what this next season holds. A year of "lasts for now" as we soak up the FEET of snow at our house, sledding, fort building, and maybe eventually snowman building. The cold and the joy of winter! Same with a Colorado spring that is quickly approaching and birthdays. It is weird to look at this year and to realize that in a year we will beginning a new chapter of our lives in a new country and a new culture, a new city, basically new everything! This is a year to prepare. To prep our hearts, our minds, to lean into Jesus, and trust more. To seek Him, to see where He is leading, and to continue to take bold steps of faith that we are confident in His leading. We get to live this year in faith not fear. Choosing to trust not to fear, and choose to continue in the obedience of taking each new step of faith as it comes.