We are in a season of fun, exhaustion and even grief, all rolled into one. We are beginning to say goodbyes, preparing for more goodbyes soon, and training. We are building our ministry team, packing, purging, sorting, traveling, planning, and doing normal life. We just returned from visiting my Grandma and had a wonderful time! Now we have 3 days to reset, repack and hit the road for a month! This more traveling busy life is different, it is hard, and it is so fun. I am learning how to enjoy the moments, and the moments in between. To pay attention to right now.
Then I have days like today, where we crash. Girls are still in pjs. Layla has been asleep for almost 1 1/2 hours and Amirah is eating a PB&J for lunch and then will be headed to bed for nap. We've watched kids shows and "The Incredibles" this morning, and I have wondered around on Facebook, done two loads of laundry, and began planning my packing list for the next month, and my todos before we leave this coming weekend. We all have colds, and needed a slow day. Life continues to move forward.
This is a fun/weird/sad season of life. I am loving joining the community we are joining within EMI, and within the missions/international community. It is so different, and it is so not what we are used to. In someways it feels like we belong, we are home, and in someways it feels so different from how we have lived, thought, worked, and done life up to now. I love it and at moments mourn the life we have left and are leaving.
Daily I am reminded that we are doing all of this because God has lead us to. We are moving forward because He is leading. And Jesus better be worth it, or we are screwed. One of our good friends, and mentors in college always said, put yourself in positions where God has to come through or you are screwed... Never have I ever lived this as truly as now. Daily I need Jesus to come through, to show me the moments I don't want to miss, to give me discipline to do what I need to do that day, to help me be the momma my girls need, and to be the wife my husband needs. Daily I need Him to come through to comfort my heart that aches for what we have already left behind, and that aches to be moved on to the next thing, avoiding this long season of travel and transition. Daily Jesus reminds me He is worth it. The God who saves, heals, rescues, redeems, and brings freedom and changes people from the inside out is worth it. The plans He has to use us to reach people who don't know or have never heard His name is worth it. The people He desperately loves are worth it, because we want to love what, and who Jesus loves.