Most of the time if we see that they will fail we are not doing what God has called us to by staying quiet, and letting it happen. Often we do that so we can say later I told you so, or I knew we/you shouldn't do that... And that does nothing but hurt them. It's not love. Not to say sometimes they don't listen but at least we offered what we see and know. This can create bitterness in our hearts, and towards our husbands, as we allow a laundry list to grow of the things we have watched them fail at. How is this being a the spouse God created us to be? How is this lovingly submitting and respecting our husbands? It isn't.
Sometimes we have to stand our ground, we have to speak up because we love them, because we are here to help and complete, to assist and add value. Our perception, or intuition, even discernment is so valuable! Sometimes these manifest themselves as feelings, but there is value!
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”
Proverbs 31:11-12 NIV
“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:16, 25-27 NIV
The wisdom I think is when and how to speak up and how to take a stand if needed to be respectful and articulate. To communicate well.
This is why marriage is hard. It goes against our flesh that wants to trample and have our way, or submit and get bitter.