Ummm... Where do I start???

So we have been on the move most of August. Even now we are in the middle of being away. I am sitting here in North Carolina at the Center for Intercultural Training, with two more days of classes left. We left Colorado Springs July 30th (for World Staff Conference with EMI), and still have a week more or traveling. God has been doing so much inside our family and me. I have so many things I could share! I will probably post many things about these last 3 weeks in the coming weeks as I have some down time to process them more clearly, and really pray about what God has done and is doing in me. So you can be ready for that! For now here are some highlights so far in our August adventures!

World Staff Conference in Granby, CO (Snow Mountain Ranch) 

Most fun thing: Summer tubing! It was a blast! Oh, and we got to finally meet all the people we are moving to Cambodia with in person!! :)

Hardest thing: Everything was so spread out, and Layla had a hard time with class, but she was so well loved by the childcare people, it was sad to say goodbye to them!

Biggest take away for me: EMI is a great ministry to be a part of. I am so grateful for EMI, the people within EMI, and the heart of EMI. I was continually blown away by how families interacted when they didn't think or know anyone was watching. As well as how families interacted with other families, and the belonging we felt within the EMI family. Just awesome.

(There were also amazing break out sessions, and great worship and main sessions)
Playing mini-golf at the camp!

North Carolina and CIT Second Language Acquisition Training

Most Fun thing: Spending time with Jamie last weekend! Also we have gotten to swim most days after class which has been great family time, and time with other CIT families.
Weekend with Aunt Jamie was so much fun!!
Hardest thing: Wrapping my mind around learning a new language and culture, sitting in class 8:30-3:30 everyday.

Biggest take away for me: (Now we still have two days left so there might be something else later.) I can learn Khmer! God can help me learn Khmer! Learning Khmer will expand part of who I am and expand my perspective of how I see God. The second thing is being in community with people (like at the staff conference) who have laid it all out there for God to show or we are out of luck is amazing.


OK now a story just to brag on God... Our last flight from Denver to here I left my phone on the plane, and didn't realize it until we were at our hotel for the night. I knew exactly where I had left it, in the the seat back pocket in front of my seat! Now my first thought was They never look in there it's gone forever. This sucks! We tried calling the airline to see if someone had seen it or could check on the plane we had just got off of, and the recording said they were closed, which was weird because it was only 4:30 east-coast time. So I decided to see if I could get the free airport shuttle back to the airport, they were happy to take me back, but continually informed me how they couldn't wait for me because who knew how long it might take to get my phone back. I totally understood that I maybe at the airport for hours, what a great way to start our time here. We got to the airport and I ran into the counter for our airline, where you check you bags in. Two guys were there chatting, I explained I had just come in from Atlanta and I had left my phone on the plane, one of the guys jumps up and says, "I have it! It's in the back. I'll go get it!" I was almost in tears! I couldn't believe that anyone even saw it, and then that the guy I walked up to was the person who knew right where it was. So I thanked them for my phone and ran back out to try to catch the shuttle before it left to go back to the airport, and the shuttle driver had decided to stop for a smoke before heading back to the hotel, so she was still there! So cool! I was so grateful, and knew right away that not only was finding my phone all God, but having it only take a 10-15 min trip to the airport to get it back! When does that ever happen with something like that with an airline?? Praise God! I love how he cares about us and the little things in our lives.
Leaving from DIA to North Carolina!

God has blessed us so much during the last three weeks, we have loved watching Him take care of us, and the people around us, we love getting to see all He is doing around the world. We are a little bewildered and in awe that He would chose to use us to further that. What a gracious and mighty God we serve.

Reading in one of the many playrooms here at CIT!

Is there anything cuter than sisters walking hand in hand?

Chlorine, Sunshine, Water, Sunscreen and Picnic Lunches (cute pictures of the girls)

This summer has been a summer of fun! I giggled to myself the other day when I was going to the bathroom and looked in the bath tub and realized there was a dark circle around the tub from the girls' baths. They have been spending so much time outside our tub was dirty. I thought to myself, that is the sign a wonderful summer. Then I was pulling Layla out of bed one morning this last week and she smelled like swimming pool (chlorine) and sunscreen, and I though that's a sign of a wonderful summer. We have been having a wonderful summer! The girls and I have played and played.

For the first time in my life I don't want summer to end! We are loving the warm weather, and I suppose that's a good thing with our next transition. We have been frequenting parks, fountains, swimming lessons, and just simply enjoying the backyard. God has been doing so much in us as a family as we are learning and growing in preparation for Cambodia.

                               Amirah at Prospect Lake! She is so fun, and becoming so brave! 

               Layla Lou! She is one of the silliest kids I have ever met, and such a fun little water baby!

          Backyard fun! Grandma's planter has become their outdoor play house and watering the plants                                                                is a favorite pass time!                                                          

                                     Amirah finally got her glide down on her balance bike!

                                     Layla is figuring out this walking thing, she is loving her walker!

I have been learning and thinking a lot about who I am, who God made me to be. I have been thinking about the importance of our identity, and understanding how we uniquely reflect our Heavenly Father. Often when we are playing I think about this stage of life, how confident the girls are in who they are, and what they want to do. I've been thinking about when we lose that, what happens? How come we let others steal pieces of that? I don't ever want anyone to take that from my girls. I pray that they will grow in confidence of who they are, and with confidence that Jesus loves them so much, exactly how they are. That way they can always reflect the exact aspects of God that they were created to reflect, and change the world with who God made them to be.

As I am relearning at age 28 who God created me to be, and changing things about who I had molded myself into, I am finding freedom. Freedom to be me, freedom to play in the fountain with my girls, freedom to just watch, freedom to play and to be me, freedom to talk to and enjoy others around me, and freedom to see the joy in the way that God created me to be.

Summer is wonderful. Being, and becoming more of who God created you to be is wonderful. Enjoying the girls is wonderful. Soaking up the sun is wonderful. Learning and preparing for Cambodia is wonderful, and hard. God is doing and teaching us so much, and I am confident that when January comes we will be boarding that plane as confidently as we can, as prepared as we could be, and with hearts ready for the next season. God is so good, so faithful and so trustworthy!

Share your life.

My hope as you read about our wanderings, about our planning, our adventures, our hearts, is that you hear and are encouraged to take those next steps of faith in your walk with God. That it invigorates you to do something to move, to trust, to actively pursue the Living God. My heart for discipleship always sees the value and the impact each thing I post could/can have on someone. Whether it is here on our blog or if it is on my Facebook page. I want to encourage, build up, and spur others on towards what God has for them in their lives. I want to share our hearts to do that. I have never been a very private person, and secrets have always been hard for me, especially with the people closest to me. I want to share my heart and my heartache with others. My joy and my sorrow, and I want to share in theirs! My hope is always as I pour out my heart, volunteer information about my life, and what God is teaching me, others will feel free to do the same. I love connecting with people, sharing things that matter, and sitting in each others' messes and joys, simply being there for each other. I am convinced that this is the best part of discipleship, the best part about loving people and walking through the day to day with others.

I have searched out people here in Colorado Springs to connect with. People to enjoy and to learn from. Moms to mom with, family to love, and new friends to be made. I am really enjoying connecting with new people here, and getting so much time with our extended family. It is hard though! I find myself missing the deeper relationships I had in Durango. The depth from being friends for 10 years, seeing each other in the hospital after having babies, or spending every Sunday together worshiping. The depth from serving together and watching softball together. It is hard to get people to come out of their shells, to let you in, and show them that they are safe connecting with you, and being in a bigger city maybe makes it harder! Many are so guarded, and worried about offending. I don't get offended easily, and often don't worry as much as I maybe should about offending others because I am not offended easily. Which can be so good and so bad, because I can offend and never realize it, and good because I would like to think it makes my self-protection easier to break through. I don't need to guard as hard because offense isn't part of my normal personality.

Goodbye Durango

Below is from the day we closed on our house on May 31st. Now almost a week and a half into being here in the Springs, we are enjoying our time here, but both of these last Tuesdays my heart has ached for these sweet friends. I am excited for lunch tomorrow at a park with new friends! :) Enjoy a glimpse into the day we closed on our house:

Goodbyes are hard.

We are about to leave the place we have called home for over 10 years. This is the longest I have ever lived anywhere, the longest I have been a part of a church, and the most stable my life has been. We have gotten engaged here, our first home as a married couple was here, we graduated college here, we have lived almost 8 1/2 years of marriage here, we have bought and now sold our first house here, we have had two children here, and probably the most valuable of all we have learned how to build, enjoy, and participate in community here. The hardest part about that was transitioning from college community to real life adult community. My hope is that now that we have improved in this area, learned the value of it, and cherished this we will be able to do this a little more quickly in other places.

Today is our last Tuesday lunch, a staple in our lives since having my girls, especially after having Layla. I have learned soo much from these mommas that I will take with me. I have learned about caring for my family, loving other mommas, and encouraging other mommas no matter what. The important part about that is moms always do things differently, and being able to love and encourage them in the way God is leading them to raise their kids so so wonderful! What a great example these ladies have been to me as I have entered motherhood, offering advice without judgement or condemnation, and loving me where I am at as a mom. I am confident I will later find another group of mommas, but these will always be special to me. They are just wonderful!

Today we closed on our house, so final. Tears lots of tears here, the last few days every time we left the house. I pray the new family will enjoy it as much as we did! I prayed for that family so much as I packed and cleaned.

This has been home, and now we are homeless...(not really my parents have graciously taken us in for the next 6-7months), but it feels like it. For the first time since I was 18, I do not have a home that is mine. God is on the move, hallelujah! He is doing mighty things! (Have you heard that song by 7eventh time down? It's kind of been our theme song lately, thanks KLove) It's true He is, and it is good. He is so good.

Selling everything you have...Come follow me. Is it worth it?

As we are facing our final days in Durango, my heart is sad. I am so sad to leave our community, our family of choice. I find myself weepy over silly things, and I find myself trying to pretend that the end is not as near as it is. I also find myself ready. Ready to move forward, ready to see more of what God has for us, ready to spend time with our families, and ready to reconnect with old friends.
Knowing we will "rebuild" when we get to Cambodia. It is great and wonderful, and sad, and hard.

I have meditated a lot lately on the story of the rich young ruler in the gospels. Jesus tells him to sell everything he has and give to the poor, then come follow me. I shared in a previous post how I have never understood why the rich young ruler went away sad, it's just stuff. However, I get it more now. We love our stuff. I think even beyond loving our stuff, we are secure with our things. Lately I have been contemplating one more aspect I had never thought of before. The rich young ruler didn't know the future, he didn't know where Jesus would lead him, or how his needs would be met. He didn't know IF IT WOULD BE WORTH IT. Would it be worth it? He probably had worked hard to accumulate his wealth and possessions, to sell it all, or give it all away almost seems foolish. What if he would eventually have to start over? What if he really regretted getting rid of that one item? What if Jesus abandoned him shortly after he gave up everything? What if....?This has been my contemplation, "Is this really worth it? God are you really worth it? What if you aren't even really real? What if you abandon us? What if you don't take care of us? What if we end up without a home? What if we take this leap of faith and land flat on our faces, regretting it all?"

Every single time I come back to these truths, "You are worth it. The people you have called us to serve and share Jesus with are worth it. Eternity with you for these people is worth it. You have never failed us, you won't start now. How could I deny how really real you are, you saved me! You rescued and changed me, you set me free! You are good and you are trustworthy. You have always taken care of us beyond our greatest desires. A home is where our family is, not an accumulation of stuff. We won't regret anything because You have taught us so much through this process. GOD YOU ARE WORTH IT!"

He is worth it. He is worth leaving behind our belongings (minus what we can fly with, and few treasures in my parents' basement). He is worth selling our table that had so many fun, and wonderful memories around. Our couch that we literally moved so it would fit in our house. (Kind of silly right?)  He is worth it all, because He is good, and trustworthy and He has saved my soul. I want to love what God loves, the way He loves them, that's people not stuff.

This is a glimpse into my heart. My internal dialogue I have with myself as we are facing our last days of small town, mountain living. Of being surrounded by beautiful ponderosas, the Animas River, and most importantly so many sweet, loving amazing friends. Though I am teary at the drop of the hat right now, I think I am ready. I moved to Durango at 17 for college, and minus one summer I have been here since. It has been a wonderful home. Good-byes are hard, my heart is sad, but my soul is excited for the future.

WE SERVE A BIG GOD AND HE IS WORTH IT ALL!

A Wife's Role

As we have been preparing to move, moving and whatever else we have going on I have thought a lot lately about a wife's role in a marriage. I think often as wives we given In to our husbands and hide behind the idea that we have to be quiet or given even if it means letting our husbands fail in the name of being submissive...It is so easy to let our husbands fail, and then say... "I told you so" or "I knew you shouldn't have done that."  But, we were created to help and complete our husbands and lead our families with our husbands... God has gifted us to see and even feel things they don't. To have a different perspective than they do. This helps us to know how to help them as they lead our families, this helps us to know when to respectfully stop and disagree. This is a gift God has given us! Weilded correctly and with Christ on the Throne of our hearts we can be a huge asset to our husbands. 

Most of the time if we see that they will fail we are not doing what God has called us to by staying quiet, and letting it happen. Often we do that so we can say later I told you so, or I knew we/you shouldn't do that... And that does nothing but hurt them. It's not love. Not to say sometimes they don't listen but at least we offered what we see and know. This can create bitterness in our hearts, and towards our husbands, as we allow a laundry list to grow of the things we have watched them fail at. How is this being a the spouse God created us to be? How is this lovingly submitting and respecting our husbands? It isn't. 

Sometimes we have to stand our ground, we have to speak up because we love them, because we are here to help and complete, to assist and add value. Our perception, or intuition, even discernment is so valuable! Sometimes these manifest themselves as feelings, but there is value! 

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:11-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬
http://bible.com/111/pro.31.11-12.niv

“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:16, 25-27‬ ‭NIV‬‬
http://bible.com/111/pro.31.16,25-27.niv

The wisdom I think is when and how to speak up and how to take a stand if needed to be respectful and articulate. To communicate well.

This is why marriage is hard. It goes against our flesh that wants to trample and have our way, or submit and get bitter. 

It's All About Community

Community...

We always hear you need community. You need people.

Followed by an opposing view of, you can do it, you don't need anyone else. Pull yourself up and do this yourself.

Or as Amirah always says, "I can do it my own-self."

The truth... you need people. You need family. You need your God-given blood family, and you need your God-given family of choice. The people who get you, who love you, and you will be there for you. These are the people who will do life with you.

Every time we have needed it our family of choice has been there. It has grown, and it has been so special to us! We love having people who love us and our girls. We love having people who we can lean on and into when we need it. Whenever we have friends that become new parents our number one piece of advice is find community. We even joke that they should join a church even if it is only for community. People to love them and love their kids. It is so valuable!

However it is this community that is breaking my heart right now. We have 3 Sundays left of attending church with Mimi and Papa. We have 4 Sundays left with our wonderful church family that we have poured our hearts into, and have walked through the last 10 years with us.
4 more Sundays with the people that loved us in college.
4 more Sundays with the people that waited for us as we figured "adult life" out.
4 more Sundays with the people who sobbed with us when we had our miscarriage.
4 more Sundays with the people who brought movies, hugs, texts, and love when I was on bed rest for 9 weeks.
4 more Sundays with the people who rejoiced with us when we had Amirah.
4 more Sundays with the people who feed us after Amirah was born.
4 more Sundays with the people who treat Amirah like she is one of their own.
4 more Sundays with the people who rejoiced with us when we had Layla.
4 more Sundays with the people who feed us after Layla was born.
4 more Sundays with the people who Amirah is ecstatic to see every week.
4 more Sundays with the people who have put up with, and loved Layla in the nursery.
4 more Sundays with the people I have had the privilege of loving and teaching their children.
4 more Sundays with the people Chris has had the privilege of leading worship with.
4 more Sundays with the people eager offer parenting advice when I have needed it, but never quick to judge what I ultimately decide to do.
4 more Sundays with the people who are sending us off well, with love, with prayers, with joy and sadness.
4 more Sundays....with our community of people...

No softball this summer, no life groups at the park...

I know God will provide new community and we are excited to spend time with our blood family, and our new eMi family.

We are excited to return to the church we grew up in for a season. We are excited to find family in Cambodia... but HATE saying goodbye to this community.

If you don't have a commuity, find it. Get involved... tell your story. :) (sorry Jill had to steal it....)